bowling on steroids? is it true

this story claimed to have been about bowlers taking steroids to bowl a perfect 300

in the end turns out it’s a BS story

but it got me all hyped up!!!!!!! LOL


SAULT STE. MARIE – It was just a matter of time before the nationwide steroid scandal hit home for Sault Ste. Marie residents, but most people probably thought it would be a football issue.

As it turns out steroids are all over the alleys – the bowling alleys, that is.

A state record number of 300 games at the DonDee Lanes over the past few years has apparently grabbed the attention of bowling’s governing body, the United States Bowling Congress (USBC).

“Bowling a 300 game is a very difficult feat and it’s not something that should be happening every single year,” said USBC representative Doug Donaldson. “The number of perfect games being rolled in that alley certainly demands a certain amount of attention.”

The attention it got though was not the kind the DonDee was hoping for. A small task force from the USBC showed up on one of the alley’s many league nights recently and demanded that a number of bowlers take a drug test using the usually reliable urine sample.
“It was embarrassing,” said one bowler from the Big Ballers team who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. “One minute you’re drinking a beer and knocking down pins, and the next minute, you’re peeing in a cup with a guy in a $500 dollar suit standing six inches away.”

When the dust settled, over 50 bowlers had been subjected to the cup and the results were startling.

Just over half of those tested showed positive for steroids, including a dozen bowlers that rolled perfect games on record at the DonDee.

No names have been released by the USBC, so which perfect games are bogus is anybody’s guess.

One roller, who simply referred to himself as “Bob,” said that the effect that steroids has on a bowler can be profound.
“It can make all the difference in the world,” he said. “Your wrists are stronger and you can generate a lot more spin on the ball. You can also bowl longer without feeling fatigued, and that makes a huge difference when you’re facing that final frame with a chance for 300. Instead of feeling tired, you’re almost as fresh as you were in the first frame.”

Donaldson said that the USBC will definitely take action against the bowlers and will be looking into whether the alley management knew that some of its best players were juiced.

“It’s one thing when a handful of bowlers are breaking the rules,” Donaldson said. “That’s something that we can deal with. But if the alley itself is involved – that’s something else entirely. I mean, who’s to say that guys aren’t going up to the counter and getting an order of fries with a side of anabolic steroids? It’s a problem that we are definitely going to get to the bottom of.”

The bowlers have more problems than whatever sanctions the USBC hands down. Local law officials will almost certainly get involved as steroids are an illegal substance.